#GOFAMINTDailyDevotion Sun. 8/10/2017
Quarter’s Theme: CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN THE CHURCH
UNIT 2 – Preventing Conflict In The Church (Lessons 4-7)
LOYALTY CAMPAIGN MONTHS
Suggested Hymns: G.H.B. 259, 270
Devotional Reading: GEN. 13:1-9
Topic For Adults
DON’T KEEP MALICE
Topic For Youths
TALK IT OVER
Topic For Intermediates
LET’S TALK
Lesson Scripture
MATTHEW 18:15-17
8/10/2017 LESSON 6
KEEP COMMUNICATION LINE EFFECTIVE
MEMORY VERSE
Confess your tresspasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed (Jam. 5:16a) NKJV
DAILY DEVOTIONAL READING
Sun. 8/10/2017
Good Communication Brings Satisfaction
Jos. 22:28-30
The desire to resolve conflict should not be based on misconception or self-will. Inability to get correct information or willful mis-information can lead to unresolved conflict. In the passage read this morning, Joshua and the children of Israel demonstrated their love for their fellow Israelites by sending delegates to resolve their conflict with a view to reconciling their differences. (vv. 13-20). On receiving the delegates, Phinehas, the priests, the princes of the congregation and heads of thousands of Israel explained their intention and the motive behind what they did. The information they gave them brought satisfaction and reconciliation was achieved without going to war with their fellow kinsmen. Their love for God and for others were upheld. Christians are to communicate in a manner that will bring satisfaction.
Point of Emphasis: Don’t base your action on misinformation.
Prayer Point: Help me, oh Lord, to be well informed so that my misinformation may not bring harm to the church.
BACKGROUND
One of the greatest gifts of God to human beings is speech. This gift, which has greatly enhanced the pooling of thoughts together, is largely responsible for the great strides humans have enjoyed from the era of living in caves to this time of flying through space. This same gift is the most potent weapon of conflict resolution. Occasional conflicts among brethren are inevitable but, if we handle them the way Christ commands, we shall enjoy peace, progress and unity in our churches. But if we handle them our way, the result can be chaos, warfare and divisions among the brethren.
NOTES ON THE TEXT
PART 1: POSSIBILITY OF CON-FLICT (MATT. 18:15A)
One of the reasons why as Christians we handle conflicts poorly is that we hardly expect them. Many of us have been raised to believe that once we are born again, we are automatically catapulted to a level of spiritual perfection which rules out conflicts and misunderstandings. After all, hasn’t the Bible declared that anyone who is in Christ is a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17)? With this mentality, many Christians become too shocked and disappointed to talk when a brother or sister offends them.
The statement of Jesus here, however, debunks that line of thinking. He did not say ‘when your brother offends you…’ to denote offence as a ‘must happen’ experience in daily Christian living; rather He used the word ‘if’ to express the possibility. As such, Jesus here foreshadows the admonition of Apostle John in 1 John 2:1 (LB) ‘My little children, I am telling you this so that you will stay away from sin. But if you sin…’
As Christians, no matter how pious we might be, we are still living in the body of flesh in this sinful world and among people of unclean lips (Isa. 6:5a). These factors always create occasions for one form of conflict or the other. Sincere Christians don’t intentionally hurt one another. Whoever does that apparently has no genuine encounter with the Lord (or has lost it). However, we need to give some allowances and cut one another some slack for our imperfections. When we do, we will not be shocked into misbehavior when offences come.
PART 2: PRIVATE PERSONAL CONFRONTATION (MATT. 18:15B)
We need to be reminded here again that in this passage Jesus is specifically addressing believers. Unbelievers do sin against Chris-tians. However, in most of such instances, the best response for the Christian is to simply forget about it and move on. But when a fellow Christian sins against you in such a way that we cannot ignore, then we need to confront the offending fellow believer. In this case, the first step that Jesus commanded is private confrontation.
It should be noted here as well that Christ is talking about sin, not personality, cultural, or socioecono-mic differences. Many times actions and developments are interpreted as offences based on perceptions. We should not be taking offenses over trivial matters that are not sins at all. Sincerely, not every friction and offense needs to be raised and settled. We must learn in love and overlook many slights, annoyance and offenses (Prov. 10:12).
Note as well that the offended brother is the one that is commanded to go and confront the offender. You are not expected to wait for the offender to come to you; you must seek him out and speak directly to him:
¨ in the spirit of Christian love and humility.
¨ in a calm rational manner that can convince and win over the offender. Little or nothing can be achieved when you lose control of your temper and insult or mock your fellow Christian.
Furthermore, although our text assumes that actual sin has been committed, no matter how convinced you are (that you have been offended), you must carefully listen to and weigh the offender’s argument (especially if he doesn’t immediately agree with you and repent). You must allow the possibility that you are wrong in your accusation by giving the offender ample opportunity to respond.
The first reason for reproving your brother in private is to protect the reputation of your brother. Our relationship as believers is spiritual and transcends this world. When we therefore ‘go public’ with the offence of a fellow believer, we may end up damaging his reputation. “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do” (Col. 3:12-13).
Another reason to go to your brother privately is to protect your own reputation. Christians are not infallible. Sometimes you totally misunderstand the behavior and actions of your fellow believer. Thus, if you go to your brother privately and discuss the matter and discover that your perception or accusation is wrong, then you can ask for forgive-ness (if necessary) and reconcile. But if you do not follow Christ’s command and you spread false and damaging information around the church about a brother, then your reputation will be seriously damaged when the truth is discovered.
A third reason to go to your brother privately is to preserve the peace of the church. Often when accusations are leveled against a brother behind his back and spread throughout the church and the accuser and accused disagree, factions will develop within the church. People have a tendency to take sides in a dispute. This can create divisions in the body of Christ which may take years to heal, and bring reproach to the name of Christ in the process.
PART 3: EXPANDED PRIVATE DIALOGUE (MATT. 18:16)
Christians are not expected to give up on an offending believer when personal dialogue with the offender fails to yield the desired result. Verse 16 provides the next step: “But if he will not hear you, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses’ every word may be established.”
Christ’s command is for you to take one or two other believers with you as witnesses and then reprove your brother again. The expanded peace meeting serves a number of purposes. The first is to provide witnesses. Christ quotes Deuteronomy 19:15: “In order that by the mouth of two or three witnesses the matter shall be established.” They are there to certify that a sincere effort was made at reconciliation by the one wronged.
The second, which is perhaps a more important reason, is for others to join in the reconciliation effort. There is the possibility that when confronted with two or three additional voices, the offender may see reason and repent.
Finally, the two or three accompanying witnesses can provide additional information if the case eventually gets to the church for intervention.
PART 4: CHURCH-LEVEL RESO-LUTION (MATT. 18:17)
If the second step is unsuccessful, then Christ says, “Tell it to the church” (vs. 17). That is, both the offended and the offender, along with those who had earlier intervened are to appear before the elders of the local church. Those whom Christ has appointed as leaders over congregations have the responsibility to address the conflicts among church members, to examine matters, and even discipline if necessary.
There are a number of things to note regarding this third step. First, Christ’s command clearly presupposes that all professing Christians are to be members of a local church and under the authority of the elders in that church. Second, this stage is expected to discover and remedy baseless complaints. Third, it is assumed that the elders of the church are knowledgeable, gifted in wisdom and have a genuine concern for all involved. If the offender is found guilty by the church leadership and then disobeys their instruction to repent and reconcile, then that person is guilty not only of the original offense, but is also guilty of refusing to submit to the decision of the church. Fourth, it is only after this third step has become unsuccessful in resolving the conflict, that the guilty party can be excommunicated till he repents (1 Cor. 5:5; 2 Thess. 3:14, 15).
CONCLUSION
Since occasional conflict among brethren is inevitable, the three-pronged approach for settling disputes through communication has proven effective for those who adopt it. In most cases, clear and honest dialogue between two feuding parties is all that is needed to resolve misconceptions and restore good relationship. At some other times, the intervention of one or two sincere fellow believers provides the additional input for dousing the tension. When these two fail, the leadership of the church should be able to bring every conflict to a close. However, for any of these approaches to succeed, the affected parties must be willing to open up and be ready to reconcile. If after having exhausted all these possibilities, the dispute remains unresolved, the genuineness of either or both of the feuding partners is suspected.
QUESTIONS
- What are the common causes of conflicts among Christians?
- Why do some Christians find it difficult to express their feelings when they are offended?
- What should be our attitude when a fellow believer confronts us with our shortcomings?
- How should we react to the offer of reconciliation from a believer who has offended us?
- How should we relate to a ‘Christian’ offender who refuses to admit his/her fault?
